It was just like yesterday that I had a fun talk with her. She seemed to be interested in everything I do and the fun stories I shared. We have the same opinion about what that one person who has been going through. It was like a great friendship knitted together, me in all honesty opened my heart without a bit of hesitation. I was just so trusting and was so assuming that she was that woman whom I can just be me and that she will never even in the future betray me. In those heart to heart talks, I in all honesty also talked about a person dear to both of us and also discuss the wrong choices she made that ended to where she was.
All of my assumptions about a relationship I thought will be as intimate for forever were dashed into pieces. I woke up one fine morning, bumped into her and the body language changed. It was a complete turned around and the person whom we talked about became close to her and in the process of their closeness, it also slammed the door for what was once a great relationship I had with her. I was at once totally surprised while at the same time reflective over what I have done. I could not figure out the wrongs I’ve made, the words I’ve spoken and the judgment I’ve released. The kindness that I extended were refused and for no apparent reason, she just stopped communicating with me and was consistent in giving me signals that she was no longer interested in being around me and hearing me. It was overwhelming and still too deep to dive at that moment. It was harder seeing the two of them laughing, enjoying, and when I am around they stopped their conversation, it’s like I’m having aids or something.
I would like to admit that it was so hurting and mysterious at the same time because you have no idea why the sudden change. Yet then again, I just searched my heart and recognized too that at one point in my life, I ignored the people whom I have an issue with without giving the benefit of the doubt. I gave them the cold shoulder treatment and by experiencing it, it just made me realized that it was hurting and mysterious for them too. And so instead of getting hurt, I just thank Jesus for allowing me to go through something like this and that it is my way of paying my dues over the people that I caused so much pain in the past. I just know that after this, I will be able to treat people well, not giving them a cold shoulder treatment because it’s painful and it’s unfair to the other party as well. I also learned to never talk about one person to another person because in the long run, they will eventually change their minds and will use everything you shared against you.
And therefore, instead of sulking in self pity, the only party which involves me, I just simply resolve into thanking God. I thank Jesus that they are healthy. That they are laughing after their storm. That God is gracious to them. That at least they have each other to laugh and cry with. That they are protected by God. That they are blessed and have the work to enjoy with. That they have someone to talk to when they are going through something so dark in their life. That they can sing together and hopefully they will still have each other when they will be going through storms again.
As I go in the deep and search the status of my heart, I could say that I have paid my dues and in going through, I am opening the pages of a wonderful start. This is the day of planting great seeds. Of speaking words that gives life. Of protecting people when they are not around. Of being generous when I have something to give. Of praying for people even when they are mean. Of forgiving because we all have our messes to face. Of not too judgmental because I may have my turn of making wrong choices. Of smiling even when it is meet with a frown because they might be going through deep crisis that I do not know.
This is a time of being me to Jesus and being so intimate with Him knowing that He is the only one who knows exactly the sudden turn of events.
This is the time of being happy with the happiness of others. To just simply enjoy that the people who once mourn are now laughing in the company of their new friends. To hear them whistling through life again. To know that they are not alone. To watch them bravely facing life through.
If that is what I will see, then that’s enough for me to be happy.
I am already blessed having found my complete happiness in Jesus. To hear Him speak. To feel Him everyday. To experience His love. To have His amazing peace.
I don’t need anyone to validate me of the right I did because I am well validated as I spend time with Him. I am already happy and so if I’ll see other’s happy, it must just be so right to just be happy for them.
Romans 8:28 says, that’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. The Message