A moment when my eyes meet yours and you slip away not wanting to see me eye to eye. A moment when my mouth wanted to say hi and the door was right away closed so you will not talk to me. A moment when my heart asks why and when I can’t, another moment for another cry. A moment of silence. A moment of whys.
But when the doors where silently closed, my head went up, tears falls down as heart was craving for more of You Jesus. For there’s no other being who can fully understand the groaning of my heart but You. When you too can relate to a heart like mine in the death of your friend Lazaruz (John 11:35), I am certain that you cry with me when my heart is doubly weeping, when my heart is honestly mourning and when my heart has no reason for singing.
In life, the people who are too close to you are the very people used by God to mold you. I know that there is no wasted tears to Jesus and that those who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing (Psalms 126:5). I know that Jesus kept tract of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights. Each tear entered in His ledger, each ache is written in His book (Psalms 56:8).
Just like an immoral woman who went to Jesus crying, her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair (Luke 7:37-38) has been fully acknowledged by Jesus and has been forgiven from all her many sins (Luke 7:47).
Because no matter how we try of changing for the better, the people around us will still be stuck from how worst we were in the past and only Jesus can really see the transformation that has been going on in our hearts.
It is terribly a going through process of being the who I am in Jesus but living with people who see you in your past. It is a digging journey, a daily surrender that a midst all the judgment just like how the immoral woman was judged by the Pharisees, Jesus the King of kings, the ultimate authority has already given His verdict: I FORGIVE YOUR SINS (Luke 7:48).
So we just have to keep on walking with the consciousness of HIS FORGIVENESS and instead of lashing, TEARS might be the best offering as of the moment.
Have a great day everyone.