After I graduated from college, I was right away absorbed to work in a local church and with that, I never experienced what it is to apply for a job. I started as an administrative assistant which lasted for two years and I guess, I loved that job so much. Upon a series of soul searching, I thought that I loved to be a Pastor, so I resigned as an administrative assistant and proceeded to becoming a full time volunteer. Well, with all honesty, I just would to escape from the pressure of being forced to be the person whom I am not and I figured that to be away from the office will make the difference. It didn’t. I became worst and was totally lost to being the person whom God has called me to become.
Fast forward, the Lord gave me the courage to stepped up and voiced the dialogues of my heart then stepped down as a full time Pastor of the church. I felt that it was the worst case ever. To face your fears and spoke to the people whom you are so scared to face,not that they will eat you alive, but scared because they are just too strong of a person and more. I hated confrontation a lot but there I was, with the circumstances right before me, and I have to have so much courage to conquer my fears and laid my heart and the threads that goes within me. I was so afraid to leave the comfort zone of my life. It was comfortable to receive a weekly paycheck for a work I enjoyed so much. The honor I receive from people. The assistance I’ll be getting because of the position attached to my name.
As I took time to listen to my heart, I just knew that leaving is what I needed to do and that means leaving my position behind, my weekly paycheck behind, the honor and recognition that I used to enjoy, the car that I drove, the cubicle that was once my home, the preaching activities that I totally enjoyed, the very people that I thought were my friends, the tablet that I enjoyed for months, the number that the people get used to, and the very church in which I have given all my heart and my life.
A good friend asked me if I will be okay and I without thinking just said yes. With all honesty, I thought I will never be okay for a year or so but the moment I stepped out from the place that was once comfortable for me, I got the most tranquility underneath my heart. I knew that I was doing the right thing. The opportunities became so big and the excitement never stops as the days goes by.
Away from my comfort zone, I begin to learn the me that I failed to see 16 years ago. That I am totally a simple woman who did not desire to be the center of attention. That I can work best when I am alone than when I am with a team. That I don’t like competition. That I like prayer as my ministry and preach but never be too close with people. That I have so much compassion than bitterness. That I can’t bear to be working in the night shift. That when I am tired, I can’t eat. That I don’t like pressure. That I just love to be at home away from the harshness of the world. That I love to work in the garden and talk to the flowers.
I learned to live simply but I am still the same person who believes extravagantly. That the joys in this world isn’t in how much digits I earned but it’s in the health of my spirit, body, and soul.
May you all do the very thing that you heard on the inside of you and that may you will not be trapped on the voices that seemed the loudest but on His opinion sounds the least because it’s not what He wants for you.
Have a blessed day to you and all