I’ve got the Word and I had been faithful reading it from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms, & Proverbs. I even tried memorizing Psalm 139 & my favorite part in all of these is encircling, underlining & writing in my Bible. I find it as my beautiful interaction with God. But this week, I always hear myself saying that “something is wrong.” I remember saying it again and again that my boyfriend who happened to hear me pointed it probably to the food that I have eaten. But, I know that there is something that I do that’s wrong. I even texted a friend regarding it but I could sense it in the spirit that something is not quite right. I come to the Lord one night after our Bible Study and ask the Holy Spirit to point me what’s wrong. Have I done something wrong??? The truth is if it falls in my body, I’m dehydrated and if it falls in the world or country its a great famine. My spiritual life, regardless of how conscientious I am in religiously following my one year Bible Reading Plan is in great famine. It’s like being in Singapore once again, in the presence of the sumptuous food, so beautiful, but I became malnourished all the more when I went back home because I want nothing but rice. Just give me rice and plenty of rice. It’s so like me at present that I am feasting in His bounty but I really felt spiritually malnourished. I am so sorry for being so real but I feel like if I will just give you all the verses that I am super duper plastic and its not me as I am. Yesterday, I went to the Lord and I told Him that I want Him. I don’t want anything but Him. I want His face. I want to experience Him. He is alive. He is near. He is not distant. I love His Words but I want Him. I don’t want to preach to feel like I’m doing something, I want Him. I want His very presence. I don’t want to sleep without His presence for without His presence, I am alive but dead. It’s the greatest torture to live having His Words and promises but in the absence of His presence.
And God is faithful. He filled me up last night. He heard me. He let me know that He hears me. It was like having Him after He’s been away living from a distant country. I miss Him so much. It was a tight hug.
Then I begin to see things differently. That Jesus rose from the dead. That He is alive. That we can experience Him if we desire Him. I want Him. His presence. His touch. I’ll be filled in Him. I love His Word so much but I want Him. I want to hold hands with Him while walking. It’s an experience that I don’t want to let go.
Why do I have to be outside at the door knocking to come in when the door has been opened and I can fellowship with Him. I am not His servant. I am His daughter. And. You. Are. Too.
Sometimes, we just don’t need to do anything. We just have to walk along side Him and experience Him.
Jesus Loves You🌻