Growing up, I wanted to always be the first. I wanted to be first honor in grade school. I wanted the same thing in high school and college. I wanted to win every National Competition when I represented the school. I was academically competitive. I like everything that stimulates my brain. I’m willing to sacrifice sleep for number one spot. I wanted to be the best during oral and written examinations. I only have one goal: FIRST.
You see, my cousins were physically stunning. They were popular on their looks. Everyone looked at them with admiration. They were muses and princesses and I was so envious. I never was a muse all my life (hahaha). I never heard someone complimenting me of how beautiful I was and to cover it up, I went to where I excelled the most, my intellectuality. It was so beautiful to be the FIRST. In the afternoon when my classmates dropped me in our home, I always heard shouts where my parents could even hear, “Metchili Nacional” first honor. It felt so good on the inside to at least have something to defend when people will loudly and bluntly share their comments like, she’s too small, too ugly, too pitiful, too poor, too hopeless, and so on and so forth. I hated everyone and I retorted to them by saying, yes, I am ugly but you are dumb. Oh my Lord. That’s how insecure and defensive I was.
Fast forward and I began to know how to take care of myself. Thank you Jesus for Watsons and various make ups which I could use. I learned fashion and everyone began to notice how fashionable I was. All of a sudden, I heard compliments. That I was beautiful plus smart. It was amazing but I was so lost and so incomplete. The coverings on my face wasn’t enough and being smart was meaningless. Being in a relationship is a plus factor but it can’t fill in the God Space in my heart. My attitude stinks. My speech were bitter herb. My presence communicates pride.
I wanted peace. I desired to be poised when circumstances appears poisonous. I was longing for joy in the fire. I was looking to be a woman of quiet strength. I aimed for substance and depth. I adored inner confidence. Then I discovered the Greatest First.
Matthew 6:33 says, But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (ESV).
I’m always guilty of putting Him in between or the shortest last in exchange of social media. The notifications are so tempting and to browse is so inviting. I tried. It looks so fun but it’s death at the end. It’s lifeless.
But what a life it is in His presence. What a treasure it is to devour His Word. How enriching it is to fellowship with the Holy Spirit. How beautiful it is to see the smile of #PapaGod in the spiritual realm. How satisfying it is to pour out my heart to His and to receive an answer through His Word. How pleasant it is to hear the inner voice of the Holy Spirit. How courageous I feel confessing His Words knowing that He will never lie and His promises are Yes in Christ Jesus. How awesome is His stamp of approval of me and how satisfying His hug is. How wonderful that is to know who I am in Jesus.
The GREATEST FIRST isn’t having me as the FIRST but GOD FIRST.
First, as I wake up in the morning.
First, as I make decisions in life.
First, as I am about to sleep in the night.
First, as I have doubts and fears in my heart.
First, as I go over with my day.
There are absolutely bonuses with Him as the FIRST but all these are but a natural manifestations of who God as the Creator of Heaven and Earth Is. In His presence, I got what He has. He can’t have a buffet and let me famished as a slave. The daughter got what the Father have. I can’t die in sickness being in His presence for He is Healing Himself.
So friends, why settle on something LESS when we can have an intimacy with SOMEONE MORE.
Try JESUS as your Greatest First and the Greatest Center Of Your Heart and Life.
Jesus Loves You🌻