Yesterday was such my crisis of faith you wish you didn’t know me. Everything seemed so challenging plus the heat of the sun was so unforgiving that I reached home dog tired. On top of that, I read a message that must have no meaning, I make it so big that it must have surprised the person who read it. My thoughts raged through my writings and the three cups of rice was consumed in 6 minutes. My boyfriend always prayed with all kinds of prayers and will gently tell me that Jesus is way bigger that hormonal attacks. So there I was subscribing to give thanks in 30 days without complaining literally complains like I have forgotten the faithfulness of God.
This morning as I woke up early and is a little bit rested, thank you God for the aircon, felt so condemned. I regretted that I typed those words and sent without thinking. How come I seemed so nice in the office and to my co-workers whom I kept in far a distance but become so mean or acted like demon to people closest to my heart – my family. They don’t deserve the burst out of my frustrations whatever it maybe. I felt so disgusted. Am I returning to who I was being saved from? Am I going back to the art of pretensions to gain approval? Am I too shallow to believe in the lies just to prove my worth?
As I have the room all by myself not even wanting to read the Bible, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the verse I read on March 24 in Proverbs 24:16 that says, though a righteous man falls seven times, HE WILL GET UP, but the wicked will stumble into ruin. Oh, how it heals my heart that the Lord Himself did not expect me to have it all together all the time but He does believes that I’ll get back up everytime I fall.
I sat down reflecting as to my yesterday’s reaction and I begin to realize that I have put God’s burden into my frail shoulders when it must have been way too easier to just bank on His grace that must have been sufficient for me on a day to day basis. Pastor Chelsea Smith in her sermon said, “Give A Glance To Your Circumstances But Maintain Your Stare At Jesus.” She’s exactly right.
It is when we take the lordship back to ourselves instead of yielding to Jesus as Lord that we feel like we have the right to judge, yell, and condemn back at people. On the other hand, the opposite is true. It is when we yield at the Lord Jesus Lordship that we begin to see people as precious because that’s how Jesus sees and feels for them.
The truth is, I can’t take back the hurt that I must have probably stirred in the hearts of people yesterday but I can trust that the God of my life will work in every heart so each will have a good heart.
Today, don’t let the enemy pounce at your imperfections but remember that In Christ, growth isn’t expect to come out like magic, it’s going to be from glory to glory.
So Get Back Up And Keep Your Stare At Jesus💕