​Why You Are Not Married Yet???

Oftentimes, acquaintances, friends,  co-workers, relatives, & church mates asked me of why I am not yet married. I always heared them said that I passed the age of child bearing and I will have a hard time giving birth. Other’s doubted of the sincerity of my boyfriend towards me. “Maybe your boyfriend is not so into you” they said. Some spiritual bullies will say that by the time I will have kids, groceries must be too high and tuition fees must be too hard to afford. There are also those who said that we must be so down and too poor to afford for a wedding. Well, so many opinions here, there, and everywhere.  Thankfully, over the years, I learn that respecting one’s opinion is a virtue (hahaha).
Here are probably the reasons why:
1) I became a teenager in my thirties. I went through a lot in life that I needed so much emotional healing only the Lord can perform. All I needed is a love from a Father In Heaven but working in the church allowed me to experience an earthly father’s love from my Pastors, and from the fathers in the church. I realized that there a great fathers who existed as well as great men who loves the Lord. 

2) My boyfriend is way younger than I am that when I was graduating in high school, he was still in grade 1. The Holy Spirit must have worked in my heart to guard me and helped me from saying no to the wrong person so I could say yes to the special man whom He had prepared for me. There were times that I cried my heart to sleep while confessing what He has put in my heart that “God Has Prepared Someone Special For Me” and I always answer that when people teased me of having no boyfriend when I landed in my 30’s. 
3) I still want to enjoy a teenage life of being in a relationship because I never experienced what it meant to be a teenager due to the fact that my mother died when I was 10 and I’m guessing that I became a very mean instant mom then. To be a mother way too early for a job you don’t know while also have no knowledge of God was too difficult. How I prayed that my brother and sisters will grow up and will have the best in life and I dreamed of breathing from being an instant mom. Thankfully, they all did and are growing in the Lord and I am also enjoying my single life. Thank you Jesus💗

4) I am still learning how to be a woman in Christ. I long wanted to become a wife. In fact when my uncle asked me what I really wanted, I answered, to become a Godly wife who brings her children to church and who will support her husband. My goodness, I don’t even know why I desired that in my teens. Oh how I prayed that my husband will not be a seaman or someone working overseas because of my sincere desire to become a Godly wife. 

5) We are still working in our finances. No, I don’t want a big wedding but I also don’t want to be stressed out with our finances. A little savings in the bank and hopefully future businesses and investments is a big help. Thank you Jesus. I’ve seen how money stressed my mother way back. How she cried in the night. How she became deaf because her food was given to all of us. And how she became mentally ill because of too much worries and anxiety. This is why I wanted all of us to become a good steward with our finances. 

6) I need to know first how to be a Godly wife.  I need mentorship. I need to see good examples of marriages founded by His truth.  Thank God for bringing to me Christian Ladies whom I can see as growing in the Lord while having a deep respect and love to their husbands. 

So while we had our Bible Study, Ter Yan surprisingly gave me and Ter Anne this book. I’ve seen this book way back then but I was not interested. I read and I was attacked with panic and depression (hahaha). The author is so sweet. My Bible Ladies are so gentle and kind.  I can’t be this woman. I realized that my heart needs cleansing of His Word so that it will submit to what He said, not to what I feel. 

I pray that marriages are strengthened by your relationship in Christ and may the single ladies out there will have to learn to wait for the person whom God has for them. For the time being, enjoy Jesus and His direction for your life. 
Have A Lovely Day💗💗💗

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Sweetness In His Bones

I had been given the privileged to visit my boyfriend’s root this week and truth be told, I have so much to write that I don’t know where to start. I had been wanting to put everything in writing so one day when I will be 88 years old, I can look back and I  can proudly exclaimed over how blessed of a woman I am and yes, everything started when I said yes to Jesus. 

So I landed in their beautiful City called Pagadian because my boyfriend’s sister sponsored our fare, food, and everything in between. Fen, if you are reading this, thank you very much for not just sending your brothers back home. How sweet of you to include us (Me and Hannah) to witness our sister’s graduation. 

Again, I have so much in my heart to say but let me just express it one blog at a time. 

So let’s start with my boyfriend’s natural sweetness💟

That’s him and his grandmother. He always mentioned his grandma to me and when he saw her, he hugged her, bless her and just showed his affection towards her. I stood watching and tears flowed like a mighty river. Then he brought her to the dining area, feed her, took care of her, served her exactly like how he serves me when it is just the two of us together. I could not stop thanking Jesus again and again and again for gving me the sweetest man in the world. Not only that, we visited his grandmother’s home and told me where he came from and how he was taken cared of when he was a child. When it’s time to eat, he always go to lola’s house (grandma’s house)to  pick her up so she could eat well with us.

So I was following them while they were holding hands with my shade, tablet and umbrella crying. It was such a delight to watch. This time, he forgot his profession as an Engineer and instantly became the best grandson in the world. The man whom Jesus has blessed me with is such an extraordinary man with a heart that shines brightly than gold. He is such a gem from heaven. He seldoms talk about faith but his life is an expression of Jesus in this earth. 

********************************************************I had been praying to have a Godly man when I was 8 years old and hopefully gets married when I was 28 but when I turned 28 and the man did not come along, I kneeled down to Jesus and cried why it took so long. I waited and waited and held on to His promise that “HE HAS PREPARED SOMEONE SPECIAL FOR ME”. I was called names for not having a boyfriend but friends, when Jesus packaged it, it may take a long time in our time table, but the WAIT IS WORTH IT AFTER ALL. Behind the waiting was a man molded into becoming like Jesus Christ who will eventually treats me like Royalty, a Princess who was slowly molded into becoming like Christ.

And my love story started when I first said yes to Jesus. May you all out there try Jesus. May you all experience the Father’s heart for you In Christ💕

Jesus is indeed the sweetest and He give me His sweetest in this world. 

My Love Affair With Dogs

Looking back, I have no affection and likings  with dogs. For one, I don’t like the idea that I have to clean after their mess. Number 2, I am afraid that they will bite me, put their rabbies on me and I will be hospitalized and they don’t care (Hahaha). 

But, since I transferred in my brother’s house, I saw his heart for animals. He has plenty of dogs, birds, roosters, and many more. I saw how he bathed the dogs and I observed how the dogs has been kind to him. 

The first dog that has my heart was Kyle. He was a white hairy dog and knows his bosses that he scared the strangers to death. We feel protected in his barking. When I got home late at night, Kyle will meet me in the most dark places going to my brothers house and led me home. When there are strangers who seemed to have an odd look at me, he barked them and sometimes even pursued them. Then one day Kyle was sick. He became very very weak. He doesn’t want to eat anymore. I could not hear his barking to protect me. On one occasion,  he just looked me in the eye as if he was saying that I must take care of me amd he was so sad that he might leave me. Then the crashed of my heart came when I woke up one day and I could not find Kyle. I asked only to find out that Kyle has been buried because sickness took him away and I wasn’t able to hug him and say my thanks and goodbye. I was mourning. I was very very sad. And by that time, I don’t have a camera so I don’t have a picture of Kyle.
[Jeru when he was so sick.]Our other dog Jeru who had been with us was mourning too. He did not bark for a week and I can see how lonely he was in his eyes. Then Jeru was so sick. In his sickness, I find myself laying my hands praying for our eldest dog. My father brought him bread everyday. We grieved with him because he lost his playmate as much as we lost our beautiful bodyguard. Our house all of sudden became so lonely. It was then I realized that I love dogs because I could see how helpless they were when they don’t have good people to take care of them. It was a time of acceptance that we got our brothers heart for dogs. My brother is indeed of man of compassion and mercy to animals and people. Yes, we have our very own Pope in our home. 

Last week when we got home, a very beautiful black dog welcomed me and my boyfriend. He is so handsome. His hair flows gently. And, he is the sweetest. I had him in my lap and he never cries nor bark. He just stayed there as if he felt the safest in his life. Oh, how I wanted to take him with me but everyone loves our new found friend. 

So, here’s Wayne the Cutie. 

*****************************************************What are the lessons I learned by having dogs? Well, they are teaching me to be selfless because I have to look after them. I have to think about them and love them even when they fail me. And that kind of being selfless is translated when I am with people. I learn to love unselfishly specially when I am tempted not to love. I learn loyalty just like how my brother’s dog has been loyal to me. I learned compassion specially to those who can’t speak for themselves because while dogs protect, they needed someone to stand up for them who will embrace them as their own. I learn unconditional love just like dogs who keep on loving even if I give them the crumbs of my food, regardless, they still embrace it as the best kind of love. 

Thank you Lord for my Brother’s Dogs that stirs my heart to love💟

Valentines On A Budget 

So today is Monday and I was thinking in the night before that I will have to wake up early to do laundry. I did but I am not hammering clothes, rather I am up with my greatest coffee in my beautiful mug, smell the beauty of dawn and tinker my tab. You see, I am always up at dawn for work and by virtue of being a thinker, Tuesday is coming and I have to keep saying thank you for calling, not to mention the quality of calls to consider plus the AHT, and my supervisor even said that I have to work on my pronunciation, so help me God. 

And yes, I will be working on a Day of Hearts but I know that I will be seeing flowers here and there in the arms of beautiful ladies and probably in the flood of chocolates in purses or in boxes everywhere. I would like to say that romance is good but to have a happy hormones in a just day is not a good ground for a lasting relationship. For one, it may break someone elses budget, probably becoming a romantic one day millionaire but scratching a bald head even before the 15th day.

I told my boyfriend that we don’t need to be extravagant this Valentines because I have experience a deep kind of love with him on a daily basis. I am well respected, honored,  cherished, loved, protected, and prayed for everyday. I am wonderfully blessed. And he is blessed with me too by my antic jokes and boisterous laughter when I am in the best mood. And he gets so use to my beast mode too. Oh well, my silliness makes him thinks that I am the best woman in the world. Opps, Fenelyn, if you are reading, you remains to be his number one but since you are in Canada so you are still his number one. Hahahaha.

So here’s to a simple but meaningful Valentines:

1) Cook for your girlfriend/boyfriend her/his fave meal. In our case, I always volunteer to wash the dishes but cooking isn’t my cup of tea so being his partner in the ketchin is a teamwork to be treasured. I can always admire him for his passion for cooking and how lovely the meal turns out to be with him by my side. 

2) Write Love Letters to Your Significant Others. Being a writer, I always do that for him but promise, the letters that he gave me way back was so beautiful to cherish with his unique handwriting in it. I love how the ink melted on the cards and how those wonderful words melted my hearts up until this day. It just reminds me of how great this man is and how he becomes greater and greater as days and months and years went by.

3) Listen. Yes. It does not need a cent to show your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend their value. Give them your undivided attention. Listen with the excitement of your eyes and with the attentiveness of your ears. You have no idea how romantic it could be most specifically to ladies. 

5) Say I Love You Personally. Don’t text it. Don’t call and say it over the phone. Make it so personal. Tell her or him how a blessing she or he in your life. And to those who have the love language of affirmation? ? That’s a ticket to a happy year and a joyful love life. 

6) Pray For Your Significant Others. Every day my boyfriend take me to work and when I get out from his motor bike, he will lay his hands on me and prayed that I will have the best day at work. You have no idea over how it made me so secure to report to work and face whatever is at stake because I know that I am being prayed. I always report with my close up smile regardless of my yellowish teeth because I am so sure that God hears his prayers over me. 

So to people out there who is so overwhelmed on what to give to your someone special, worry no more. It’s not your one day of sweetness that makes a difference but it’s how you make your significant other feel so loved and valued with or without occassions. 

But if you feel that you can’t relate because you are not in a relationship, then think of someone whom you would like to feel honored and loved this Valentines. You may wanna treat the street kids to Jollibee and see their happy smile and genuine thank you. I used to do that way back and it always reminds me of how blessed I am to have been given the opportunity to love those who can’t believe that love still exists.

My gosh?!? How come I just know about this?? Hahahaha

When Will You Have A Boyfriend?!?

This is February and LOVE IS IN THE AIR as people say. We hear it from the radio. Watch it on TV. In fact, worst these days is being able to watch these teenagers doing some kissing scene with their boyfriend and girlfriend and everyone is saying it’s okay in the name of drama. Thankfully, in my time, I grew up with no TV and all the radio drama can just be formulated in my imaginations. And in my imaginations are marriages that last for a lifetime. The couple who love each other and bring their children to the church. Etc. Etc.

Then I came to the City to search for a scholarship so I can study and my mind was opened to the reality.  People related your identity to being IN A RELATIONSHIP. If you are NOT, then you are UGLY. But, I knew then that I was because that’s what my neighbors told me. I WAS AND AM UGLY:mrgreen: But, I don’t believe this label anymore. I AM WONDERFULLY AND BEAUTIFULLY MADE BY GOD. No more. No less.

I tried to prove myself showing that I am a woman with worth even without a boyfriend. I studied so hard. Then I happened to join a CHRISTIAN ORGANIZATION. There, I participated in their activities and I was in the THEATER MINISTRY where I made people laugh. People thought that I am funny and being so celebrated I tried to be a people person and continued to make people laugh even if it saps my energy. That started the DAY WHEN I BECOME SOMEONE ELSE JUST SO I FIND MY WORTH.

And I turned into my late 20’s. People who worshipped Jesus wondered why I did not have a boyfriend. They said no one probably will like me because I am too short and ugly. In fact, I remember a visiting church from Manila with so many delegates and there was this guy who seemed to have interest on me and finally a very spiritual matured woman told him don’t because I am too short and how pitiful our children might be. OUCH!!!! These are ladies who worshipped God in public but are way too mean. I became way too bitter and I can’t rejoice to those who have a boyfriend much more to those who are married.

I silently cried. But I remember what the Holy Spirit told me in my heart, “I HAVE PREPARED SOMEONE SPECIAL FOR YOU.” That was the best relief. HIS PROMISE. Then I learned that my tongue has the power over life and death. So when people asked me, when will you have a boyfriend, I just answered that GOD HAS PREPARED SOMEONE SPECIAL FOR ME. I said that over and over and over again until they will get tired of asking me WHEN.

So to everyone out there who are being pressured by peers in order to have a boyfriend, HERE ARE MY UNSOLICITED TIPS:

1) BE CONVINCED THAT YOUR WORTH IS IN CHRIST. Jesus was the ONLY ONE who shed His blood for you because He loves you even before you said YES to Him. He went through Hell for you so Heaven will be yours. He is the best boyfriend ever. I promise you. I enjoyed my single life when I discover that life isn’t about RELIGION but your RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST. The rest are just bonus but HE IS THE ULTIMATE BEST.

2) CELEBRATE YOU. People may label you as ugly, short, bitter, unlovable, etc.and that’s fine. Why? Because they only make a judgment about you out of what they perceived you to be but GOD ACCEPTED YOU AS YOU and that’s what matters most. Don’t become like someone else in order to be celebrated. Remember this quote? IT IS BETTER TO BE HATED FOR WHO YOU ARE THAN TO BE LOVED FOR WHO YOU ARE NOT.” I was there. I was having a horror kind of life by playing a dual personality just to appreciated. Become the best version of yourself because it is when you are authentic that the best YOU SHINES OUT.

3) APPRECIATE AND ENHANCE YOUR PHYSICAL SELF. It’s true that I am short and people may think that I am ugly but NO ONE CAN CONQUER SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN THEMSELVES. In the process of being belittled, I learned to present myself well in public and as I valued myself, I find that people valued me as well. 

4) HAVE FUN. Don’t take life too seriously simply because you don’t have a boyfriend. Learn to laugh. Be gentle with yourself. Enjoy being around peple and celebrate others as well. It is when you are relatable that people start noticing how wonderful you are as a person. 

5) GET BUSY WHILE WAITING FOR GOD’S SPECIAL BEST IN YOUR LIFE. Your life should not stop simply because you are not in a relationship with someone else. Find a good cause to join or get involve in your Local Church. Visit the sick people in the hospital and pray for them. Be generous. Be a friend. Finish your masters perhaps and excel in your craft. Dream and start doing it. Remember that beautiful people are those who keeps on dreaming and doing their dreams. They are the ONE’S who shine the most. 

6) DON’T MIND WHAT PEOPLE SAID. Take note that the bashers remain to be bashers behind their mouth and probably their computer’s screen but if you focus on what God want’s you to do, it’s you who will succeed in life. How will I know? I was there. I’ve seen those who bashed me in the past and still bashed me now but aren’t progressing but I also know that KINDNESS IS ALWAYS THE BEST REVENGE. 

Those are just few of them. 

So, if you are not in a relationship as of yet and people are bashing you, SMILE AND KEEP BELIEVING FOR YOUR BEST. GOD has His best for you in mind. And when you are in a relationship with JESUS CHRIST, then you must be in the BEST STATE KIND OF LIFE.

Don’t be pressured by the people around you. Take it as a challenge to MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TO LIFE AND ONE DAY WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR BEST, inspire other girls or boys to learn to wait for the best.

Taken when we had our vacation with my boyfriend’s family in Leyte💗

Mad Day But Madly Loved

I am a very motivated woman until Rest Day comes. For me, rest day is my lazy day when I don’t need to wake up at 2am and if I’ll do, I download nice content from You Tube and just have the best time of my life enjoying the time. This is the moment when I will savor my coffee without putting a time frame and just HUG THIS DAY CALLED REST DAY. This is how I re-charge from all the pressures at work. I don’t talk. I just enjoy the stillness at dawn. Sometimes, I grab my beautiful journal, write down my thoughts, meditate my verse for the month, blog, or just do nothing. 

So today, I lounge in bed and absorb the silence that I could definitely find until I heard my ever sweet boyfriend in all his good vibes and bubbly spirit wanting me to hurry up for church. The more I heard him talking, I was so infuriated that I stood up, took a bath and in my anger for being disturb from the time I allotted for myself, I unbelievably broke my hard to bend toothbrush. I was so mad!!!

And so we went to church and arrived there late while I brought my bad attitude with me. I listened to the pastor but I crossed my hand when the band ended it with a nice song of The Best Is Yet To Come. I just know deep within me that I need to get real with the Lord in a room with just me and Him. Yes, I love going to church but I also hate religiosity. 

My boyfriend remained calm all throughout, smiled the sweetest but my mind was just racing home. All I know is that I want to really re-charged from the pressures of the week and there’s no place that can cater it except HOME. 

So in my MAD DAY, my boyfriend held my hand and just simply said, 

“My Love, even if your hormones will strike you so badly, even if there are days that I can’t understand you, I will continue to love you as you are.”

And my tears fell like rivers and my heart shouted with so much thanks to the LORD who must have fulfilled His promise when He spoke in my heart in 1996 that He has prepared someone special for me. I was 17 years old then and 15 years later, when I was 32, I met the most amazing man in my life. It took a little longer than expected but to be in alignment with Heaven’s Calendar is way better than the time I have in my mind.

I could still remember how I gave up my list of what I wanted in a guy when I started to get to know Jesus and surrendered my love life to Him while allowing Him to choose the best for me. I so believe that He really did and He gave me with more than I deserve. 

He was singing Heavenly songs while doing home chores.

As I was given the time of my life to just sit down to reflect and be quiet, I ask forgiveness from my Father in Heaven who knew me even before I was born and instead of being condemned, I could only feel the liquid kind of love that melted my selfishness away.
So in my Mad Day, I felt so Madly Loved by My Father In Heaven, Jesus, Holy Spirit and from the man who represents Jesus in my life so well💟

Regardless of how your day feels like today, His unfailing love for you will never change. It’s just gets proven to be so tangible in your worst time.