Oftentimes, acquaintances, friends, co-workers, relatives, & church mates asked me of why I am not yet married. I always heared them said that I passed the age of child bearing and I will have a hard time giving birth. Other’s doubted of the sincerity of my boyfriend towards me. “Maybe your boyfriend is not so into you” they said. Some spiritual bullies will say that by the time I will have kids, groceries must be too high and tuition fees must be too hard to afford. There are also those who said that we must be so down and too poor to afford for a wedding. Well, so many opinions here, there, and everywhere. Thankfully, over the years, I learn that respecting one’s opinion is a virtue (hahaha).
Here are probably the reasons why:
1) I became a teenager in my thirties. I went through a lot in life that I needed so much emotional healing only the Lord can perform. All I needed is a love from a Father In Heaven but working in the church allowed me to experience an earthly father’s love from my Pastors, and from the fathers in the church. I realized that there a great fathers who existed as well as great men who loves the Lord.
2) My boyfriend is way younger than I am that when I was graduating in high school, he was still in grade 1. The Holy Spirit must have worked in my heart to guard me and helped me from saying no to the wrong person so I could say yes to the special man whom He had prepared for me. There were times that I cried my heart to sleep while confessing what He has put in my heart that “God Has Prepared Someone Special For Me” and I always answer that when people teased me of having no boyfriend when I landed in my 30’s.
3) I still want to enjoy a teenage life of being in a relationship because I never experienced what it meant to be a teenager due to the fact that my mother died when I was 10 and I’m guessing that I became a very mean instant mom then. To be a mother way too early for a job you don’t know while also have no knowledge of God was too difficult. How I prayed that my brother and sisters will grow up and will have the best in life and I dreamed of breathing from being an instant mom. Thankfully, they all did and are growing in the Lord and I am also enjoying my single life. Thank you Jesus💗
4) I am still learning how to be a woman in Christ. I long wanted to become a wife. In fact when my uncle asked me what I really wanted, I answered, to become a Godly wife who brings her children to church and who will support her husband. My goodness, I don’t even know why I desired that in my teens. Oh how I prayed that my husband will not be a seaman or someone working overseas because of my sincere desire to become a Godly wife.
5) We are still working in our finances. No, I don’t want a big wedding but I also don’t want to be stressed out with our finances. A little savings in the bank and hopefully future businesses and investments is a big help. Thank you Jesus. I’ve seen how money stressed my mother way back. How she cried in the night. How she became deaf because her food was given to all of us. And how she became mentally ill because of too much worries and anxiety. This is why I wanted all of us to become a good steward with our finances.
6) I need to know first how to be a Godly wife. I need mentorship. I need to see good examples of marriages founded by His truth. Thank God for bringing to me Christian Ladies whom I can see as growing in the Lord while having a deep respect and love to their husbands.
So while we had our Bible Study, Ter Yan surprisingly gave me and Ter Anne this book. I’ve seen this book way back then but I was not interested. I read and I was attacked with panic and depression (hahaha). The author is so sweet. My Bible Ladies are so gentle and kind. I can’t be this woman. I realized that my heart needs cleansing of His Word so that it will submit to what He said, not to what I feel.
I pray that marriages are strengthened by your relationship in Christ and may the single ladies out there will have to learn to wait for the person whom God has for them. For the time being, enjoy Jesus and His direction for your life.
Have A Lovely Day💗💗💗