​Why You Are Not Married Yet???

Oftentimes, acquaintances, friends,  co-workers, relatives, & church mates asked me of why I am not yet married. I always heared them said that I passed the age of child bearing and I will have a hard time giving birth. Other’s doubted of the sincerity of my boyfriend towards me. “Maybe your boyfriend is not so into you” they said. Some spiritual bullies will say that by the time I will have kids, groceries must be too high and tuition fees must be too hard to afford. There are also those who said that we must be so down and too poor to afford for a wedding. Well, so many opinions here, there, and everywhere.  Thankfully, over the years, I learn that respecting one’s opinion is a virtue (hahaha).
Here are probably the reasons why:
1) I became a teenager in my thirties. I went through a lot in life that I needed so much emotional healing only the Lord can perform. All I needed is a love from a Father In Heaven but working in the church allowed me to experience an earthly father’s love from my Pastors, and from the fathers in the church. I realized that there a great fathers who existed as well as great men who loves the Lord. 

2) My boyfriend is way younger than I am that when I was graduating in high school, he was still in grade 1. The Holy Spirit must have worked in my heart to guard me and helped me from saying no to the wrong person so I could say yes to the special man whom He had prepared for me. There were times that I cried my heart to sleep while confessing what He has put in my heart that “God Has Prepared Someone Special For Me” and I always answer that when people teased me of having no boyfriend when I landed in my 30’s. 
3) I still want to enjoy a teenage life of being in a relationship because I never experienced what it meant to be a teenager due to the fact that my mother died when I was 10 and I’m guessing that I became a very mean instant mom then. To be a mother way too early for a job you don’t know while also have no knowledge of God was too difficult. How I prayed that my brother and sisters will grow up and will have the best in life and I dreamed of breathing from being an instant mom. Thankfully, they all did and are growing in the Lord and I am also enjoying my single life. Thank you Jesus💗

4) I am still learning how to be a woman in Christ. I long wanted to become a wife. In fact when my uncle asked me what I really wanted, I answered, to become a Godly wife who brings her children to church and who will support her husband. My goodness, I don’t even know why I desired that in my teens. Oh how I prayed that my husband will not be a seaman or someone working overseas because of my sincere desire to become a Godly wife. 

5) We are still working in our finances. No, I don’t want a big wedding but I also don’t want to be stressed out with our finances. A little savings in the bank and hopefully future businesses and investments is a big help. Thank you Jesus. I’ve seen how money stressed my mother way back. How she cried in the night. How she became deaf because her food was given to all of us. And how she became mentally ill because of too much worries and anxiety. This is why I wanted all of us to become a good steward with our finances. 

6) I need to know first how to be a Godly wife.  I need mentorship. I need to see good examples of marriages founded by His truth.  Thank God for bringing to me Christian Ladies whom I can see as growing in the Lord while having a deep respect and love to their husbands. 

So while we had our Bible Study, Ter Yan surprisingly gave me and Ter Anne this book. I’ve seen this book way back then but I was not interested. I read and I was attacked with panic and depression (hahaha). The author is so sweet. My Bible Ladies are so gentle and kind.  I can’t be this woman. I realized that my heart needs cleansing of His Word so that it will submit to what He said, not to what I feel. 

I pray that marriages are strengthened by your relationship in Christ and may the single ladies out there will have to learn to wait for the person whom God has for them. For the time being, enjoy Jesus and His direction for your life. 
Have A Lovely Day💗💗💗

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Sweetness In His Bones

I had been given the privileged to visit my boyfriend’s root this week and truth be told, I have so much to write that I don’t know where to start. I had been wanting to put everything in writing so one day when I will be 88 years old, I can look back and I  can proudly exclaimed over how blessed of a woman I am and yes, everything started when I said yes to Jesus. 

So I landed in their beautiful City called Pagadian because my boyfriend’s sister sponsored our fare, food, and everything in between. Fen, if you are reading this, thank you very much for not just sending your brothers back home. How sweet of you to include us (Me and Hannah) to witness our sister’s graduation. 

Again, I have so much in my heart to say but let me just express it one blog at a time. 

So let’s start with my boyfriend’s natural sweetness💟

That’s him and his grandmother. He always mentioned his grandma to me and when he saw her, he hugged her, bless her and just showed his affection towards her. I stood watching and tears flowed like a mighty river. Then he brought her to the dining area, feed her, took care of her, served her exactly like how he serves me when it is just the two of us together. I could not stop thanking Jesus again and again and again for gving me the sweetest man in the world. Not only that, we visited his grandmother’s home and told me where he came from and how he was taken cared of when he was a child. When it’s time to eat, he always go to lola’s house (grandma’s house)to  pick her up so she could eat well with us.

So I was following them while they were holding hands with my shade, tablet and umbrella crying. It was such a delight to watch. This time, he forgot his profession as an Engineer and instantly became the best grandson in the world. The man whom Jesus has blessed me with is such an extraordinary man with a heart that shines brightly than gold. He is such a gem from heaven. He seldoms talk about faith but his life is an expression of Jesus in this earth. 

********************************************************I had been praying to have a Godly man when I was 8 years old and hopefully gets married when I was 28 but when I turned 28 and the man did not come along, I kneeled down to Jesus and cried why it took so long. I waited and waited and held on to His promise that “HE HAS PREPARED SOMEONE SPECIAL FOR ME”. I was called names for not having a boyfriend but friends, when Jesus packaged it, it may take a long time in our time table, but the WAIT IS WORTH IT AFTER ALL. Behind the waiting was a man molded into becoming like Jesus Christ who will eventually treats me like Royalty, a Princess who was slowly molded into becoming like Christ.

And my love story started when I first said yes to Jesus. May you all out there try Jesus. May you all experience the Father’s heart for you In Christ💕

Jesus is indeed the sweetest and He give me His sweetest in this world. 

My Love Affair With Dogs

Looking back, I have no affection and likings  with dogs. For one, I don’t like the idea that I have to clean after their mess. Number 2, I am afraid that they will bite me, put their rabbies on me and I will be hospitalized and they don’t care (Hahaha). 

But, since I transferred in my brother’s house, I saw his heart for animals. He has plenty of dogs, birds, roosters, and many more. I saw how he bathed the dogs and I observed how the dogs has been kind to him. 

The first dog that has my heart was Kyle. He was a white hairy dog and knows his bosses that he scared the strangers to death. We feel protected in his barking. When I got home late at night, Kyle will meet me in the most dark places going to my brothers house and led me home. When there are strangers who seemed to have an odd look at me, he barked them and sometimes even pursued them. Then one day Kyle was sick. He became very very weak. He doesn’t want to eat anymore. I could not hear his barking to protect me. On one occasion,  he just looked me in the eye as if he was saying that I must take care of me amd he was so sad that he might leave me. Then the crashed of my heart came when I woke up one day and I could not find Kyle. I asked only to find out that Kyle has been buried because sickness took him away and I wasn’t able to hug him and say my thanks and goodbye. I was mourning. I was very very sad. And by that time, I don’t have a camera so I don’t have a picture of Kyle.
[Jeru when he was so sick.]Our other dog Jeru who had been with us was mourning too. He did not bark for a week and I can see how lonely he was in his eyes. Then Jeru was so sick. In his sickness, I find myself laying my hands praying for our eldest dog. My father brought him bread everyday. We grieved with him because he lost his playmate as much as we lost our beautiful bodyguard. Our house all of sudden became so lonely. It was then I realized that I love dogs because I could see how helpless they were when they don’t have good people to take care of them. It was a time of acceptance that we got our brothers heart for dogs. My brother is indeed of man of compassion and mercy to animals and people. Yes, we have our very own Pope in our home. 

Last week when we got home, a very beautiful black dog welcomed me and my boyfriend. He is so handsome. His hair flows gently. And, he is the sweetest. I had him in my lap and he never cries nor bark. He just stayed there as if he felt the safest in his life. Oh, how I wanted to take him with me but everyone loves our new found friend. 

So, here’s Wayne the Cutie. 

*****************************************************What are the lessons I learned by having dogs? Well, they are teaching me to be selfless because I have to look after them. I have to think about them and love them even when they fail me. And that kind of being selfless is translated when I am with people. I learn to love unselfishly specially when I am tempted not to love. I learn loyalty just like how my brother’s dog has been loyal to me. I learned compassion specially to those who can’t speak for themselves because while dogs protect, they needed someone to stand up for them who will embrace them as their own. I learn unconditional love just like dogs who keep on loving even if I give them the crumbs of my food, regardless, they still embrace it as the best kind of love. 

Thank you Lord for my Brother’s Dogs that stirs my heart to love💟

Valentines On A Budget 

So today is Monday and I was thinking in the night before that I will have to wake up early to do laundry. I did but I am not hammering clothes, rather I am up with my greatest coffee in my beautiful mug, smell the beauty of dawn and tinker my tab. You see, I am always up at dawn for work and by virtue of being a thinker, Tuesday is coming and I have to keep saying thank you for calling, not to mention the quality of calls to consider plus the AHT, and my supervisor even said that I have to work on my pronunciation, so help me God. 

And yes, I will be working on a Day of Hearts but I know that I will be seeing flowers here and there in the arms of beautiful ladies and probably in the flood of chocolates in purses or in boxes everywhere. I would like to say that romance is good but to have a happy hormones in a just day is not a good ground for a lasting relationship. For one, it may break someone elses budget, probably becoming a romantic one day millionaire but scratching a bald head even before the 15th day.

I told my boyfriend that we don’t need to be extravagant this Valentines because I have experience a deep kind of love with him on a daily basis. I am well respected, honored,  cherished, loved, protected, and prayed for everyday. I am wonderfully blessed. And he is blessed with me too by my antic jokes and boisterous laughter when I am in the best mood. And he gets so use to my beast mode too. Oh well, my silliness makes him thinks that I am the best woman in the world. Opps, Fenelyn, if you are reading, you remains to be his number one but since you are in Canada so you are still his number one. Hahahaha.

So here’s to a simple but meaningful Valentines:

1) Cook for your girlfriend/boyfriend her/his fave meal. In our case, I always volunteer to wash the dishes but cooking isn’t my cup of tea so being his partner in the ketchin is a teamwork to be treasured. I can always admire him for his passion for cooking and how lovely the meal turns out to be with him by my side. 

2) Write Love Letters to Your Significant Others. Being a writer, I always do that for him but promise, the letters that he gave me way back was so beautiful to cherish with his unique handwriting in it. I love how the ink melted on the cards and how those wonderful words melted my hearts up until this day. It just reminds me of how great this man is and how he becomes greater and greater as days and months and years went by.

3) Listen. Yes. It does not need a cent to show your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend their value. Give them your undivided attention. Listen with the excitement of your eyes and with the attentiveness of your ears. You have no idea how romantic it could be most specifically to ladies. 

5) Say I Love You Personally. Don’t text it. Don’t call and say it over the phone. Make it so personal. Tell her or him how a blessing she or he in your life. And to those who have the love language of affirmation? ? That’s a ticket to a happy year and a joyful love life. 

6) Pray For Your Significant Others. Every day my boyfriend take me to work and when I get out from his motor bike, he will lay his hands on me and prayed that I will have the best day at work. You have no idea over how it made me so secure to report to work and face whatever is at stake because I know that I am being prayed. I always report with my close up smile regardless of my yellowish teeth because I am so sure that God hears his prayers over me. 

So to people out there who is so overwhelmed on what to give to your someone special, worry no more. It’s not your one day of sweetness that makes a difference but it’s how you make your significant other feel so loved and valued with or without occassions. 

But if you feel that you can’t relate because you are not in a relationship, then think of someone whom you would like to feel honored and loved this Valentines. You may wanna treat the street kids to Jollibee and see their happy smile and genuine thank you. I used to do that way back and it always reminds me of how blessed I am to have been given the opportunity to love those who can’t believe that love still exists.

My gosh?!? How come I just know about this?? Hahahaha

5TH ANNIV & COUNTING

January 20th marked the fifth year anniversary for me and my boyfriend and we have been so thankful of the journey that God has allowed us to walk on together. 

The relationship started way back when during our church activity,  I saw that he had a classy camera and he took so many pictures for all of us that I figured that he should add me in at Facebook and tagged me for all my pictures. We were so thin then and he was not my type being so white and was terribly shy who only smiled but seldom talked.

This was how white and thin he was when we started as friends and this was the place where we had our church activity. This was at Genesis Valley in Pit-os Talamban Cebu City I guess (Hopefully this is correct information) because it was too long ago already.

And I was always thin, having a tired and happy eyes, and oh how I miss my long and straight hair too. I wanna have my hair rebonded but I am already working now and I don’t want all the attention that I will be getting for having a new hair so I will not do anything with my hair now (hahahaha).

And these were my Bible Study and church friends.

There were a lot of us but it will take so much time checking the photos. Majority in these photo were new babes in Christ. So precious children of God.

True enough, after the activity were over, he added me on Facebook and tagged me for all my photos. He initially chatted me on messenger and I respectfully responded because I cannot be mean to new people at church. Newbies were my assignment then and I could not lose anyone of them so I have no choice but to force myself to be kind even if I don’t want to (confession time for being a real kind of fake minister, sorry). 

Being single then and having an assigned car to drive, I stayed in the church even until midnight because the internet connection were so high and I can you tube and chat all I want. True enough, at midnight hour, when I was about to go home, the gate was locked and I can’t get out. The gate was so hard to open and having my skinny figure, very underweight to be exact, I don’t have enough power to open it and drove back home. I was so happy because I had an excuse to stay in the church and Facebook with all I want. I was a Facebook and Joel Osteen addict then. However, when I went back to the office, he send me a message so I thought that it would be best to answer him having all the high internet connection that I wanted. I told him that I was stucked in the church premises alone and he offered to opened the gate for me. I did not believe in him so I just jokingly answered why not?? I thought that he was just joking like everyone else who had been so used to have me stayed in the church. Fifteen minutes later, I heard the church buzz sounded and when I went down, viola, it was him. I suddenly believe that he was a man of his word and he must be a good match to my single friends then (hahahaha). 

After that short kind of personal encounter apart from our weekly Bible Study, he texted me every 4 o’clock in the morning and asked if I could be his bestfriend. And since he helped me, I would be very ungrateful if I refused. He would always told me how he would be so sad if one day I will have a boyfriend and we can’t eat out and laughed together. I feel the same way too but I thought that he was not interested on me so I did not assumed anything. That’s always the sermon of our Pastor to single ladies, “Don’t assume that a guy likes you simply because they are nice to you or give you flowers and chocolates. Accept what they give but don’t fantasize because they might borrow money from you as their motive or ask you as bridge to know someone else.” Ouch!!!!

Our friendship grew and we were officially in a relarionship on the 20th of January. We let our relationship flourished and we kept quiet but being a leader in the church, we could not hide it any longer. We told our Pastor and to my embarrasment, he announced it to the whole congregation during every service. There I realized that I hated to be the center of attention. How I wanted to be invisible but he was a man enough to face the heat of the moment and so gracious to stand when asked to. Everyone knew him. Everyone liked him. Everyone asked how in the world will I ever have the kindest boyfriend being fully known as strong woman, old being in my 30’s, short, and not so physically beautiful.  Yes. Someone asked me that! Promise. It stirred up the rest of the single ladies to believe of their own forever.

On our First year, he was my personal body guard and personal assistant while I was his personal driver too (hahahaha).

Fast forward until our fifth year, I learned how wonderful of a gentleman he is and how he grew to become a wonderful leader to me and for others. He is a firm man but so peaceful and content that his personality rubbed off on me. He is a happy kind of guy who makes me laugh. He is a peaceful man who meets a perfect melancholy woman and that makes a perfect temperament match. 

This year I told him that he does not need to buy me gift knowing that we will be saving a big amount of money monthly. 

I surprised him with this gift. I did not spend anything for this but he find it to be so cute and sweet coming from a not so sweet girlfriend that I am. 

To make it more beautiful, he bought a small cake to match it. On this picture,  I already eaten half of it (Hahahaha).

And in all those five years, we held on each other when we were in the valley and gain some weight in the process too.

Glory to God for our Happy 5th and counting. 

And as I am writing this, I figured that Jesus is a perfect match maker if we  only TRUST IN HIM. 

💑

When Mute Speaks

I had the privilege of joining my boyfriend assisting his co-worker’s family to have a medical check up and the message that came across beyond words is GENUINE LOVE. You see, Emelito (Kuya Emelito) is mute but he works for his family. He is single because according to him, he is not going to get married because he has to take care of his mom and it was his mom whom we brought to the clinic last night. He has a happy disposition with a heart of overwhelming gratitude and their simple lives presented to me upfront impacted me most. 

Sometimes in life, we take for granted the blessing of being able to talk and we use our tongue to complain, take revenge, and be ungrateful. Other times, we sit in total discontent by comparing our present reality in the lens of people’s highlight. But I guess, the greatest scene up close is watching someone whom the society considered less but has so much more love to give. 

The world talks about love but Kuya Emelito whom everyone labeled as mute SHOWED IT. 

May we start to thank God for whatever we have until more will no longer be a surprise because it comes naturally to someone who has a grateful heart. 

Happy Birthday My Love

I wish I will have the best words to ever describe a man after God’s own heart. I wish my heartfelt honor will give justice to a gentleman who is gracious and as loving as you. Yet, regardless, let me publicly declare how great of a man you are.

Yes, probably, to your family, I may not be able to qualify their love over you because they had been with you far too long more than I do. And so if they love you more than they think I do for you, I would rather ride in the boat of “positivity ” and in a way be grateful that their matchless love for you other than Jesus of course makes you the best you and eventually that kind of love spills over and reaches into the depths of me.

You’ve gone too far from the time that I met you.

From a shy man to a confident gentleman.

From being too ordinary to being extraordinary.

From a being a follower to being a gifted leader.

From being good to being excellent.

Your heart radiates the heart of Jesus.

Your minds becomes sharper as you daily connects to our Savior..

Your sense of humor is totally amazing, it makes me laugh every time that I am with you or when I remember you.

You are the most selfless man I know.

You are too kind, too patient, too gentleman, too helpful, the fruit of the Holy Spirit is so evident in you.

When you are with me or when I am with you, I can’t help but thank Jesus under my breath  because He gives me you.

People wander how in the world did I ever get a tall, responsible, kind, Engineer and handsome Christian guy when I am too small, too short, too difficult to be with, too old and not too beautiful like the ladies in the worldly gaze.

But there is one thing, I am too sure why distance collides into a place where you needed to see the unique me.

Because way before you were born, I was there on my knees genuinely praying that He will protect you, guide you, and lead you so that regardless of how many ladies you met, your heart will never be crazy in the same way that it beats towards me.

I know that there are so many people who loves you and probably they love you more than they think that I do for you but over all, I consider it as a great privilege, gift, and honor to feel like a princess and to be loved by a man who experienced the unconditional love of Jesus and generous enough to give it to me regardless of the cost.

When I am with you, it feels like Jesus from heaven on earth.c360_2015-12-25-16-25-17-331.jpg

When I am with you, I can’t help but be thankful to Jesus who is Love in the very first place.

I love you so much and cheer to next eighty three years of love like Jesus does here on earth.

Thank you for the LOVE.